Life in Venice/The Departure

For the first time he woke up without feeling that thrilling happiness that he has been feeling for the last week. Seven days… seven mornings… he used to wake up very early every day, greeted by the cold air that caresses his face as soon as it gets from under the pillow. Whenever he spends a winter night in Europe, he switches off the heating system and he leaves the windows open, he wants to have "cold" as the first thing to feel and the clean smell of fresh air as the first thing to breath as soon as he wakes up. He ran to the window, the city was still asleep and covered in fog, like a beautiful woman in a French painting from the Nineteenth century, lying elegantly on a love seat, dressed in a transparent veil of white silk that shows its beauty rather than hides it. He breathed the fresh air, carrying the cold of five degrees and the characteristic smell of freshness and cleanliness that he has been absorbing the last week, something he never finds where he comes from. He kept filling his lungs with the air, he wished he can keep the breath inside, he wished he had bigger lungs or his whole body becomes a lung to keep this fresh air inside. What a cruel life, he thought to himself, that makes you see clean air as a dream, even the act of breathing, the most natural and spontaneous right of all living things, is something he cannot enjoy where he lives. A long shower did not help to wash away the layers of sadness that were covering him the more the time flew. His lips that were smiling inevitably for a whole week could not smile now. He had no appetite for breakfast, although during the last seven days he used to eat with an enormous appetite that he gained 3 kilos in only one week. He had packed the night before; he did not want to lose any minute of his last hours in that lovely place. He did the bed and left the room as clean and organized as he once stepped in it a week ago, he knew it's a big hotel where they have a staff whose only job is to do rooms, but he just could not leave anything behind him that does not match with beauty. This room has seen him in happiness for whole week, it deserves to be left as beautiful as it should be, and everything in this city has to carry the word beautiful, strongly and proudly. He dragged his suitcase to leave it in the reception, he was greeted by the beautiful lovely lady that he befriended from the moment he entered for check in. His sadness was obvious and when she told him that she hoped he enjoyed his stay in their hotel, he had a problem speaking, with a gulp in his throat, he said that he enjoyed every minute…that he regretted sleeping for this was a waste of time. And when she apologized because the weather was not good, he interrupted her telling her that it could have never been better, what could be better than a cold cloudy week with showers of rains and blasts of cold air, and all of this contained in a city where the past comes back to life, beautiful and charming, genuine and absorbing. He told her it was his favorite weather, for he comes from a desert, where rain is a rare visitor that visits him few minutes every year, where summer is the most triumphant of the four seasons and where an annoying egotist sun is powerful enough not to allow a single morning to be there without its own presence. He had two hours to spend in the city before his departure, only two hours…how little is that when we are happy. What can be better than walking in a city where walking, the normal and trivial of all acts, can be an enjoyment, where all the streets are cobbled and very clean, the way he likes streets, where all the buildings he comes across are old and clean, the way he likes buildings, where he is surrounded by clean and fresh air that smells of nothing and when it dares carry a smell it is either the smell of the sea, coffee, freshly bakery, frankincense or plants. He kept walking, without his camera, his only companion that did not leave his hand the last week, his final walk was dedicated to his eyes only. He did not take his i-pod as well, who needs music in such walk? He wanted all his senses to absorb as much as possible of this city, even its silence, for he treasures silence as much as he treasures beauty and cleanliness. He wanted to kiss the buildings, to hug them; he wished he could be transformed instantly into a giant, big enough to embrace the whole city with its buildings, canals, islands, bridges. Yes he loves dead things as his closest friend once said, but she did not know that he never saw them as dead, for every building was alive telling him a story, its own story where happiness mingles with grief, creating life the way the wind shapes the sand dunes of the desert where he comes from… Why does everything has to end, why are we lacking the ability to freeze time, to stop life when it should be stopped and where can his life be stopped except in that place? His boat was there, taking him back to the city with its real life, soon he will see cars again, hear their noises and smell the air polluted by their exhaust, soon he will be in an airport, one of the places he hates the most, and soon he will be back to where he came from… The boat was there, he looked back wishing to run away and hide in the city forever, but he did not, he boarded the boat and it started moving triumphantly. The beautiful coast of "Fondamenta Nuova" was getting gradually invisible to his eyes. His vision was blurred, not from the fog that was still covering the city, not from the rain drops that fell on his eye lashes, but from the tears coming from the heart of a man destined to see beauty only where he does not live and feels nostalgic to where he does not belong…