Sunday, August 16, 2009

Nostalgia Europea!

Dear Europe,
I've been with you for two weeks, two full weeks, walking in your streets, breathing your air, drinking your water, filling my eyes with all your beauty that never ceases to amaze me and filling my soul with the life I have there that never ceases to make me feel alive. Yes, my dear Europe, I only feel alive with you, alone, without a familiar face, speaking your languages and living in places far away from home and from my beloved family and friends, but still the love that you give me makes me feel fulfilled and happy, a kind of happiness that no one else could give me.
When I first saw you, it was Paris, and it was the time I realized that I belong to you, the week I spent there showed me what happiness really is, what basics of life I miss and I didn't know that I missed unless I had them with you. I could breath a clean fresh air that I never have where I come from, I drank clean water from the tap, something I stopped doing since I was a young boy because the water coming from the taps where I live is not clean and cannot be drunk by humans, I found there a beautiful river, very clean that I could see under the water, accessible that I can walk by it and bend to get some of its water. I found old buildings that carry history of centuries and still look elegant, clean and extremely beautiful. I found greenery wherever I went as if it is a part of the daily life, while I rarely see a tree where I come from. I saw people who have beauty as part of their life, they care for it and would do anything to keep it, people who respect each other and do not care what the others look like, wear or say, I found peace and calmness, I found all what I never thought I needed until I went there. On my way back, in the airport I was crying, I felt as if I was parting from the only happiness I ever had, and I promised you to come back.
Then I lived in Germany for three months, which I see now as the best days of my life. Living there I became sure that my love to you is strong, deeply rooted in me and will stay as long as I live. I came to you with a sore heart and you treated me, and what else can be the best treatment for a wounded heart than being with you. There, I worked, lived, went to places, met people, made friends and with every day there, your love was growing inside me, like a tree that will not be uprooted unless my life ends. And when I went back to where I came from, I had this severe depression, this longing to you and to the days I lived with you, for the first time I was nostalgic to a place that I do not belong to. But don't I belong to you? Is home where you live, where you carry a document stating your nationality that you never relate to, just a dumb word that does not induce any feeling in your heart? Isn't home supposed to be where you feel home, where you feel happy and where you feel that you want to spend the rest of your life there?
Only then I decided that any vacation will be with you, only you, and since then I have been saving all the money that I can to spend it with you, for only with you I feel that money is made to be spent. Who said that money does not buy happiness, the money that I spend to pay for my trips to you give me happiness that is incomparable to anything I have ever felt.
Paris, Chartres, London, Berlin, Cologne, Bonn, Dusseldorf, Brussels, Amsterdam, Munich, Zurich, Zermatt, Madrid, Barcelona, Granada, Cordoba, Seville, Salzburg, Vienna, Venice, Verona, Prague, Karlovy Vary... Every one of your beautiful cities has given me its best and greeted me with its beautiful greenery. Each city soothed my heart with its beauty, fed my soul with its well-kept history and art and showed me its best, its very best. Like a mother proud of your children, wanting them to always be perfect and present them to the whole world in pride and glory, you presented your cities to me and I loved them all, every one of them has engraved its place in my heart and left a mark in my soul. And now, my dear Europe, I wouldn't be exaggerating when I say that you are my mother, the mother of my soul. You love me and care for me like a mother, whenever I come to you you give me the happiness that I never found anywhere else, you sooth my pains and comfort me. The smile you put on my face vanishes as soon as I leave you. The feeling of relief and belonging only comes to me when I am with you. Your rain cleanses my soul, your rivers tell me what beauty is, your green mountains showed me my home and the snow that covers you in winter made my eyes see a clearer picture of who I am. Yes, for my soul you are the only mother.
I am a product of you, my dear Europe, your painters, authors, poets, philosophers, composers and historical figures all enlightened me and made me what I am, every one of them, every single work that one of your children has made was a lesson to me, a journey of knowledge, I grew up with them, I walked their footsteps and I learned from them all, Your history was my best teacher and your literature was where I learned to feel and write, your paintings have taught me to appreciate art and beauty and your music is one of the things that keep me alive where I live away from you. I wouldn't have been the man I am now without you, without your children. Without your love.
I have parted from you my dear mother, but I will come again, with a smiling cheerful face that is rarely seen where I live, with a loving heart open to you and to your gifts that you generously offer me, with eyes that will never get enough of your beauty because they only see beauty in you. I will come to you and hug your trees, kiss your buildings, pray in your cathedrals, and dream of the day I get united with you for the end of my life...