The Third Scenario

In the third Scenario of my new story "The second chance" the girl leaves her partner after suffering from his selfshness and self centered character, only to discover a part of her character that she didn't notice or may be didn't want to admit. Ask me for the details ;)

The Second Chance

"It was not easy to remove him from her life, uprooting a tree always leaves a hole in the ground, deep and profound one. What she was doing during the last months was attempting to refill the hole or to hide it from everyone even herself" Having a female character at the centre of events, breaking up was her decision after considerable suffering. She managed for quite some time to overcome the pains of the past and live without him. But when she receives an email from her ex asking for a second chance, the story moves in three different scenarios. The first scenario has betrayal as the main theme, the deeply wounded betrayed woman expresses her pains and bitterness with strong insulting words: "No, I'm sorry, I lost my respect to you when I knew how animal like you were. I lost my trust in you with the endless lies, with the number of times you swore and you were lying, with the lies you kept telling me even after I knew about your sordidly sinful other side, which is actually the real you. And after all this you expect me to be back to you but why? Let's talk logic, what is so special about you to make me hang on you forever? I was just healing my wounds and trying to escape from the trauma of being deceived and as soon as I was regaining my self confidence that you so sordidly shattered you just open all my wounds anew. I can't understand you and I hope I will never do. I’m really happy with my inability to understand you; human beings never understood how animals behave...." The second scenario has no betrayal, it's more about human weakness in front of love, she surrenders to her heart and gives him the second chance: "Just having his name in her inbox erased all the bad things he did to her and, just reading the first few words started that eternal dominoes effect inside her heart. That deeply wounded smashed heart rose from its ruins just like the legendary phoenix, her stupid weak wounded heart won the battle at the end. She was clicking on the reply button and starting to figure out what she would say but she found herself snatching her mobile phone and dialing his number that she has already deleted from her list. She had the number carved in her brain and she dialed it slowly, each press on a button was like touching a part of his warm body, she didn’t plan what she would say, the river doesn’t need a guide to reach its end..." The Third scenario is still under construction, it has to be something completely different :)

Why people forget what they do?

Human beings usually tend to forget the bad things they did. And after sometime they even hate anything or anyone that reminds them of these bad things, but God is there, watching and managing. People say what goes round comes round, and God says in the holly Kor2an "Whoever has done an atom weight of good shall see it and whoever has done an atom weight of evil shall see it"

The Tulip is back to The Desert

I'm back to my country, my work, my beloved family and friends and back to all the things that I love and hate here. The last three months were a lifetime experience and were the best of all my life. I worked, had fun, made friends, travelled around Europe, had huge doses of art, culture and beauty, I challenged myself and stretched it into far away horizons. In short, I fulfilled one of my dreams and got back with enormous power to live and give. I'm back to my lovely blog and at first I thought of deleting some of the previous posts or comments but when I thought about it, I decided to leave it as it is, let this blog be something like a life book, witnessing things that happened to me and emotional states that I had over the last year and more to come as well. So I'm back and will be posting about my experience in Europe where I felt like home, isn't Europe the natural home of tulips?

I'm going to Germany!

I will be leaving you soon and going to Germany doing some practical work in my master thesis (I'm doing my masters in Medicinal Plants) Basically my stay there is for only three months but frankly speaking I will do my best to make them longer, as long as possible. I'm leaving on Tuesday Feb 20 Enshaallah. Doing research in Germany has been my dreams for over ten years now, since my first days in the Faculty of Pharmacy I found myself drawn to the medicinal plants study, we call it Pharmcognosy, a huge subject that we study it over four years. That was when I started to develop this passion for medicinal plants, herbal medicine, alternative medicine and other related sciences. Knowing that pharmacy started by herbal medicine in ancient Egypt with the pharaohs who were the pioneers in such science in addition to the chinese, Indians, Greeks and Romans. Soon the Muslims became the pioneers in this science as well as many other sciences and during the great Islamic civilisation the first pharmacy was opened in Bagdad, a small shop selling herbs and herbal preparations that was established from Sandal wood, then came to be called Sandaleya and from thisthe word Saydala originated. I think most of you have heard about Tazkaret Dawood, one of the oldest medicinal textbooks focusing on Herbs. During the eighteenth century, the leadership moved to Europe and for hundreds of years it nourished with preparing plant extracts, isolating active compounds and doing tests on animals and humans. This whole era was crowned by the discovery of Penicillin from a kind of fungus and then preparing its synthetic analogue from chemicals. Same happened with aspirin that is originally an extract from the willow bark (Salix alba) and its synthetic analogue was prepared in the lab under the name of Acetyl Salicylic Acid that was soon called aspirin. By the begining of the twentieth century, most herbal drugs were replaced with synthetic ones and the industry of medicine became one of the bigest Buisness in the world. Only by the end of the twentieth century people started to notice the harmful effects of synthetic drugs and it was the back to nature call that drew the attention to herbal medicne once again. Of all the countries of the world, Germany is the mother and center of modern herbal medicine research. With huge investment in research, production and progress of herbal medicines. So finally I'm going to Germany, a dream that is coming true and a huge challenge in my life, personal and career wise but I'm ready for that. I will need your wishes and prayers, I'm sure you all wish me the best and your love will keep me warm in the cold loneliness of Germany.

From the Deserts of Siwa

I have decided to go to this remote part of Egypt escaping from the pollution I have been suffering from lately. Pollution of this modern stressful life I have to live inevitably. My life is polluted, not only from the car exhaust turning the air into a nightmare of horrible smells and suffocation, not only from the water of the Nile polluted by all kinds things thrown in it and destroying the once sacred and worshiped river. My life is polluted by people themselves, by liars and deceivers, by ungratefulness, betrayal, disappointment, acting and all kinds of evil that humans do as part of their daily lives without even asking themselves why am I doing this, what is the consequences, who will suffer from this and is what I am doing really worth the results, is it right or wrong. Questions that are simple and logic but Alas, no one asks himself any of these questions until it’s too late. So I decided to go as far as I can escaping from all this to Siwa, a land of virgin beauty, of pure kind people who trust each other without thinking, who leave their shops open and go around feeling very secure, who are so caring and warm with everyone, who are so cheerful and happy in spite of living a simple primitive life in a very harsh environment and hostile nature. In Siwa I found the purity I was looking for and in its springs I managed to wash the stains of this life and forget a lot of things I wanted to forget. Siwa had a very important place in the pharaonic civilization; the ancient Egyptians believed that this remote Oasis belongs to the God Amoun-Ra who represents the united god of Ra (the sun) and Amoun (The moon) From this point, situated in the far west of Egypt, the God leaves our world to go and rule his other world of eternal lives, leaving the world in the darkness of his departure only to rise again strong and mighty. That is why the oasis is sometimes called the Sunset Oasis. But Siwa became a celebrated place in history during the Greek era in Egypt after the famous pilgrimage of the legendary Macedonian conqueror Alexander the Great to the Amoun Temple in the oasis. A huge coronation ceremony was awaiting the young prince in the temple and from there he became the Pharaoh of Egypt, the son of Amoun and a God himself after the divine soul of the God Horus replaced his human soul. It was there that Alexander met the Oracle of the temple whose prophecies was the driving force for the young king who was 26 at that time to conquer the world with insatiable power. For the next seven years, Alexander conquered most of the known world at that time and his kingdom reached the far east, as far as India and Caucasus. The legend of Alexander ended when he was 33 by Malaria which infected him in the jungles of India. It is believed by many historians that the great king ordered his fellows to be buried in the oasis beside his father the God Amoun-Ra. I started my first day by renting a bicycle and going around, roaming the narrow paths between the palm trees, going to the open deserts, climbing up and down and watching the beauty of this untouched nature, inhaling the fresh clear odorless air as much as my lungs could take. I visited the spring of Cleopatra, the temple of Amoun wondering how the coronation of Alexander in such place was thousands of years ago. I got several warnings from the native people not to travel alone between the fields at night as I might get encountered by the demons who guard the tombs and treasures buried there, my curiosity to meet any of these creatures prevented me from listening to their advice and I took my bicycle late at night, wandering for hours in the dark fields but without meeting any creature. The second day was a long safari that started early in the morning, we took a 4x4 car and roamed the deserts, enjoying the unlimited view, the virgin land, the clear pure air and the serenity of the moments. A long bath in the hot spring, a natural hot spring just in the middle of the desert and only some meters away another spring but with ice cold water. The sand duning as amazing, the car going up in a steepy sand dune only to go down from the other side, I don’t know why I imagined life with its ups and downs, yes it’s very much like sand duning, you go up with difficulty and effort and only when you reach the peak it’s time to go down again only to get encountered by another dune and so on. It was life in its simple unnoticed fact. I visited the old ruins of Shali, the remains of the mud houses that have been washed away by rain showers in 1926 standing there as a symbol and lesson, nothing lasts forever, everything will end someday and will leave only a symbol, a memory, a monument that is roamed by people, photographed by tourists and visitors and inspiring writers and poets. I enjoyed my days in Siwa so much, the purity everywhere, the friendly people, the nature and the food. In Siwa I met people from all over the world as a lot of foreigners come to visit this beautiful oasis for tourism, medical treatment and like me escaping from their lives. I made good friends with Al from Ireland, Keesan from Japan, Claudio and Juliano, a couple from Italy, Jenny and Albert, a couple from Australia, I met nice people from Alexandria with their famous cheerful attitude, I will never forget Elham, Dina, Reham, Mustafa, Tarek, Ahmad and Mohamed. From the beautiful native people of Siwa it was easy to make friends with beautiful people like Mohamed, Hassan, Ahmed, Fakhr, Hussein and Saber. It was a good decision to go to Siwa, I really found what I was looking for. A place I will never forget and purity of land and people we all need in this life we are living among people who know nothing but lies and deceit. I invite everyone to go to Siwa, may be there you can find the purity you need and may be in its everlasting springs you can wash away some of this evil and come back with some of the good things that God planted in our human nature in addition to this evil.

Spring in Winter

It's raining heavily, the wind is blowing The cold is more than we could bare But I cannot feel but warm For your heart radiates warmth everywhere Your world is always in spring A world where winter doesn't dare

A True Heart

The sweetness of your presence and the warmth of your heart Brought me back again to the point from which I did part For although this world is full of liars There is still a true heart

I'm still a Tulip

My failure with you is my greatest success. My inability to grow in your desert is the biggest proof that I'm still a Tulip

The Closed Door

Closing your door gave me the chance to turn around and look at many opened windows from which I can see wonderful things in the world, things I could have never seen from this back door.

A way Back

I never planned a way back for myself A way of escaping from my life with you Only the fox's home will have a backdoor For the evil expects evil from others too But the rabbit never thinks of a back door "Why another door when I already have one to go through?" He who loves is always blind When he wakes up it's too late for anything to do Everything in life has a price But we only know this when the paying time is due

I was your tulip

I was the stupid tulip, planted in your desert and expecting to survive!

I was your candle

I was your candle that you didn't light Helping you to find your way in the darkness of the night And when you started to see the the first rays of the morning light You threw the candle away and thought it was right You didn't even wait till it melts away you wanted it out of your sight But the night came again, for after the day there's always night You went back to the candle wanting more of its light Now you want it back in your life with all your might But the candle is broken and will never again stand upright The candle lost its wick and without the wick how can a candle light?

The play has to end

Even the longest play will end someday Even the strongest actor will need some time to be his real self The most well-written story is still a story

No Angels on Earth

Angels do not live on Earth. Whenever you meet one be sure that one day you will discover he was a human being smart enough to act like an angel with those who still believe in angels but never for too long.

Life is a Train

Life is a Train that never waits for late passengers Life is a Train that never brings you back to where it picked you from Life is a Train that never stops Life is a Train that never tells you when or where will be your next stop

What I did to you and what you did to me

I was building you only to discover that I was starting my downfall. I was taking you upstairs to give you the chance to see the world from a higher place, you threw me to see how a person falls from a height. I was planting you in me and when you grew in my soil you went for another leaving me a deep groove. I was helping you to forget your past and when you did you hated the only person who can remind you of this past. I was trying to make you find yourself and when you found it you lost me.

The Wounded Deer

Like a wounded deer which hides in a cave until it gets cured or dies, I'm hiding from you and the whole world, wait for me and you will get either me or my dead body...

I will be back

I will be back only when I think I can look at you without being able to see the dirty traces left by other people on the once white snow. I will be back only when I learn to deal with you as a sinfull human being not an angel. I will be back only when I'm strong enough to get over my shock and grief. Only then I will be back...

The Apple and The Mud

You have seen an apple on the ground and you liked it. You picked up the apple, licked the mud and liked its taste more than the apple, go for the mud as your tongue will never be able to know how apples taste like

I am your Earth and you are my tree

I am your Earth and you are my tree, you are deeply rooted in me. You need me to live and I need you to feel alive. How can the earth loose a deeply rooted tree without leaving a profound groove that nothing else can fill?

Volcanoes!

The earth is strong and so enduring with all kinds of life and death, and despite its amazing enduring power volcanoes do happen. But the earth remains the same, still solid and firm, revolving in its eternal path and still enduring all what happens on its surface and within its heart. I'm your Earth, please forgive my Volcanoes!

You in My Life!

Having you in my life feels like placing an ice-cube over a painful burn!

Look, Listen and Learn

I learned that in our life, we should Look, Listen and Learn. If you don't look, you will not see. If you don't listen, you will not understand. If you do not learn, you are not human enough.

When you're not with me

"When you're not with me I feel like a fresh water fish placed in the sea neither living nor dead just surviving for others to see waiting for you to feel alive like I should be"

The ON AIR experience with PTP!

Yes it was my first time to be on the radio, live and I'm extremely happy that my first time was with and for PTP (Pen Temple Pilots, a wonderful cultural group thank God I'm an active member in). We were invited by Egypt FM on Monday November 13th to talk about our group, who we are and what exactly are we doing. The whole thing was a new experience to me that turned out to be marvellous. It started with surprise, tension, nervousness and anticipation. It passed smoothly with the sweetness of Yomna (the interviewer), the support and the nice atmosphere with my beloved friends. Right before the interview, we were talking with Yomna and when she asked why TEMPLE, I answered her that it's sacred, it's clean, it's meaningful and it has its own unique effect on everyone, believer or non believer. And that is how our group work, a group with a vision, with strong but flexible rules, with concrete base and clear targets, with a wonderful moderator and amazing members. As soon as the interview started, I was really talking from my heart, I meant every single word I said and there were thousands of things I wanted to say but the time was limited, yet I managed to talk about my own personal experience with PTP that changed my life tremendously and took me to new horizons. I mentioned how I used to be an extremely shy person whose intellectual production's final destination was the drawer of my desk, burried under my stuff for no one to see. And now after two years with PTP, I published a lot of stories, poems, pieces, personal impressions and even travel diaries from Iran, Syria and Paris. I keep receiving wonderful feedback and a huge support from all the members that make me keen on writing more and improving myself. I managed to win the battle with my shyness that I gave a presentation about herbal medicine trying to bring this lovely group into my professional life to add more beauty and charm to it. Yes, through PTP I saw a lot, places I could have never gone to unless with PTP, I got a lot of information about all sorts of things, I met lovely similar people and made a number of good friends, I was able to reform my character and enhance my self confidence, in short, I became someone else and I'm happy with the new me that PTP has helped me to upgrade. It was a night to remember and a wonderful experience

Why Women and not Men?

I have always wondered why religion encourages the manifestation of the beauty of men and covering that of women. Why are women not supposed to get turned on? Why there is no single thing that orders men to hide their beauty or attractiveness or whatever it is called? Why are men allowed to have their upper parts naked although it can be a source of extreme sexual arousal to women? Why are women and only women considered element of desire while men are not? why there is no order for men to hide their beauty from women? I know that some men are seen beautiful as much as women, for example when you go through a fashion magazine a man sees the female models as beautiful and/or sexy and also the women see the same in male models, something that has nothing to do with characters and manhood but with looks, just looking at a photo!!! So beauty does exist in men, it's not very common but still exists, my question was why beautiful or attractive or handsom men are not ordered to hide or minimize this??? Why wasn't the Prophet Youssef ordered to hide his beauty? It was obvious how he affected the ladies still he wasn't orderd to cover his body or hair or whatever they found attractive in him. Just a simple question. Based on my own experience in The Islamic Republic of Iran, which has a strict law that women should wear scarfs and should wear a kind of long blouse that reaches just above the knee. I didn't know this fact before going to Tehran but in the plane and just after landing I found all the femles getting out their scarfs and wearing them. Also from Tehran and as soon as the door of the plane was closed, all the ladies took off their scarfs (including some 50+ women!!!) putting in mind that the Iranian ladies are already very beautiful and sexy and with the scarfs they get more and more tempting, I just don't know why. About the blouses that should be (By law) Long and with long sleeves, some Iranian ladies try to make it as sexy, exotic and eye catching as possible by making it very tight for example, brightly colored, decorated...etc. Also they wear very well applied make up, strong perfumes and try as much as possible to expose as allowed as possible from their beautiful hair. In Iran the government just wants to spread an Islamic APPEARANCE of the country, accordingly the schools and universities are separated so are the cinemas and the consequence is the thirst of the young generation to GET OUT. You will be amazed to know that almost all the people I met who are my age and younger dream to go to USA although we all know how Iran and USA are with eachother. You will be amazed also to know that the people are just like any societies with religious and non religious people and also that prostitution is found there. Also in KSA, it's the same problem. I'm not against or with Hijab, I'm sure that God sees deep inside us, into our souls and hearts rather than checking if my beard has been shaven or grown and if this lady has covered her hair or not, an extreme difference between GOD and HUMANS. Most humans tend to go for looks and get affected but God has his own divine ways of judging as he is the only judge and only he knows ow to judge. Finally, looks never say the truth, never. I'm just against forcing girls to wear Hijab and I'm sorry to say that uptill now some families force their daughters to wear Hijab and the results are tragic.

A Journey by Train

I address this to everyone, living or dead because I believe that the dead are still around us, we just can't see them and our human abilities have their limitations and this is how life goes, a journey by train and we have to leave the train without our will, it's planned up there when to get on the train and when to leave...And it's the time we spend inside the train that really matters, who we met and what we did or said. How many persons we made happy and how many we hurted. What did we leave behind us? But still the train is moving according to the plan and the journey has to be continued...

What is Love?

Love cannot bedescribed using our words, you will never find any definition for love in any language. In Arabic you have one word, "ANA BA7EBB" you say it for everything, people, places, clothes, food...etcBut in English there's "LOVE" and "LIKE" and they describe different feelings. That's it "FEELINGS" they are made to be felt and not described, just feeling is describing. Think about this, you use the same single word "LOVE"to describe what you feel towards your parents, brothers and sisters, friends, partner, God, Country, Religion, prophet......etc Do you feel the same? of course not, and this proves what I say, a word that cannot describe something precisely is a useless word, and here the word love just takes you near the area but never in so do not waste your time looking for a definition using any spoken language, use other things that can't be heared, written or spoken but still can be fully understood. Like the eye language this can really show what love is although can't fully show as blind people still fall in love :)Love was made to be felt, enjoyed and add happiness to our lives, just love and live" Have a wonderful day full of love...

When you're back!

"And when you're back I will remove all the traces left by anyone and will leave you heaps of my traces that no one can ever remove"