One Hundred things that make me Happy!

I knew that I like counting things, uselessly most of the time... After counting one hundred things about me, here are another hundred, this time they are things that make me happy... 1- A hug from my Mother 2- A journey by train in Europe 3- Adding to someone's knowledge 4- An outing with my work colleagues 5- An outing with school colleagues 6- Being in Germany 7- Being in Paris 8- Being in the vicinity of Al kaaba 9- Blueberry jam 10- Buying a gift for someone I love 11- Buying books 12- Candles 13- Chocolate 14- Classical Ballet 15- Climbing green or snow covered mountains 16- Cooking 17- Cutting birthday cakes 18- Deep uninterrupted sleep 19- Driving my car very late at night 20- Earl Grey tea 21- Finding something I thought it was lost 22- Flowers 23- Fountains 24- Freshly squeezed sour Orange juice 25- Gardens 26- Getting feedback on anything I wrote 27- Getting over a loss 28- Getting presents 29- Giving medical advice 30- Giving Salma a hug 31- Giving things to needy people 32- Going out with Salma 33- Going to Switzerland 34- Going to the opera 35- Greenery 36- Hearing the birds singing 37- Hearing the wind blowing 38- Ice cream 39- Listening to a piece of music I like 40- Listening to Catholic prayers 41- Listening to Dalida, whatever she says 42- Listening to Samira Said, whatever she says 43- Lying in my bed listening to music 44- Making someone happy 45- Making someone laugh 46- Museums 47- Organizing my room 48- Pain Perdue from Casper and Gambini's 49- Painting 50- Passing an exam with high grade 51- Pasta from Macaroni Grill 52- Pizza Alfredo with Anchovies from Maison Thomas 53- Plants 54- Playing with my nephews Aly and Hussein 55- Praying alone in my room 56- Rain 57- Reading a book I like 58- Reading certain parts from the holly Koran 59- Receiving a call from a friend asking about me when it's obvious that I'm not ok 60- Riding bicycle 61- Sailing in the Nile at sunset 62- Seeing a baby sleeping peacefully 63- Seeing a loving couple, humans or animals 64- Seeing a mother playing with her baby 65- Seeing a place I like in a movie 66- Seeing Samira Said on TV 67- Shisha Peach in Grand Café Maadi 68- Shopping for clothes 69- Snow 70- Solving a riddle 71- Startling someone concentrating 72- Staying in bed in weekends 73- Sweet corn 74- Taking a cold shower after a hot day 75- Taking a long warm scented bath 76- Taking photos 77- Talking to a close friend 78- Talking to Salma and listening to her talking about her little world 79- Thunder and lightning 80- Travelling to any place except the gulf 81- Tulips, anywhere, anytime, any format 82- Twilight 83- Visiting a friend and find something I brought him/her in his/her place 84- Visiting a gothic Cathedral 85- Waking up in the morning to find the weather is cloudy and there will be no sun 86- Walking by the sea 87- Walking in the streets of Europe 88- Watching a movie I like 89- Watching sunset 90- Watching the full moon 91- Wearing a coat on a cold winter day 92- Wearing a scarf in a windy day and having it swinging with the air 93- When a song or piece of music I like comes unexpectedly on the Radio 94- When a wish I had comes true 95- When someone asks me about the direction, and I know the right answer 96- When someone trusts me with his/her secrets 97- When something I expected happens 98- When the one I love sleeps in my arms and I'm fully alert watching 99- Winter 100- Writing a story Did I miss something???

Post Number 100/ One Hundred Things about Me!

So the posts are becoming one hundred! Being fond of counting things (have you seen the movie "stranger than fiction"? something very similar)and taking such round figures as stages, I thought of this... Here are 100 things about me, you might already know most of them 1- I'm an Egyptian man 2- My real name is Mohamed 3- I have few nicknames, mainly: "Meto, Hamada, Moody" 4- I'm 30 5- My Birth date is January 7th 1979 6- I'm a Capricorn of Leo ascendant 7- I hate football 8- I love reading 9- I have 500+ books at home 10- I love classical music 11- I hate power 12- I hate politics 13- I'm not happy living in Egypt 14- I wish I can live in Europe (Paris, Munich, Brussels or Seville) 15- I love travelling 16- I have visited UK, France, Germany, Switzerland, Austria, Spain, Belgium, The Netherlands, Turkey, Iran, Syria, Algeria, Malaysia, KSA, Bahrain, Emirates. 17- I have 4 sisters 18- I have 2 nieces and 4 nephews 19- I have 3 brothers in law 20- I love blue and purple 21- I don't like red 22- I love green mountains 23- The Alps are my favorite 24- I love snow 25- I love winter 26- I hate summer 27- I don't like desert 28- I am allergic to sun 29- I have migraine 30- I studied Pharmacy 31- I speak Arabic, English, French and German 32- French is my favorite 33- I love i-pod 34- I'm anti American 35- I hate business 36- I love painting 37- I love candles 38- I love chocolate 39- Lindt is my favorite 40- I love flowers 41- Tulips are my favorite 42- I write stories in Arabic and English 43- I blush, very easily 44- I don't feel comfortable talking about sex 45- I believe in God, and I love him 46- I love Jesus 47- I celebrate Christmas 48- I love herbs 49- I'm superstitious 50- I believe in signs 51- I love children, girls specifically 52- I'm pessimistic 53- I'm bipolar 54- I take vitamin B tablets regularly 55- I drive 56- I hate driving 57- I have Hyundai Matrix, bleu-ciel 58- I care about my books than my car 59- My dream car is BMW- X3 60- I'm extremely organized 61- I never forget a face I saw 62- I love Virginia Woolf 63- I don't like to be the centre of attention 64- I hate talking in public 65- I love writing reports 66- My biggest dream is a small wooden hut over the Alps in Switzerland 67- My sister Salma is the most precious things in my life 68- I have a Nokia N-95 69- I have a Spanish guitar, a real one 70- I love blueberries 71- I have a lot of female friends 72- I love myself 73- I'm sociophobic 74- I don't make friends easily 75- I hate jokes, and those who say them 76- I hate compliments 77- I hate the underground, especially in Cairo 78- I'm claustrophobic 79- I keep grudges 80- I always carry my keys, mobile and wallet in my hands 81- I'm single 82- I was in love before 83- I love Samira Said and Dalida 84- I love Maison Thomas, the Pizzeria 85- I don't like crepe 86- I like sea food 87- I cook, whatever you think of 88- I love cleaning 89- I used to play with dolls when I was a kid 90- I love to be alone most of the time 91- I overreact, most of the time 92- I don't care what people I don't know think of me 93- I don't mind being rude when rudeness is required, even when it is not 94- I do not leave a good first impression 95- I hate when people I don't know or don't like kiss me 96- I hope I will die as soon as possible 97- I love following rules, and setting them 98- I love anything that is "ancient" and I don't like most of the things that are 'modern" 99- I hate Starbucks 100- I don't regret anything, the things I did before and proved to be wrong, were done because they seemed right when they were done. So how many of these you didn't know before?

C'est fini...C'est fini la comedie!

It's over…The comedy is over! It all started as a very successful play In a theatre in the suburbs with blue décor There was no one but the two of us! We have loved each other for so long To the point of forgetting time The time that has always changed happiness into pain And it has won now, it is happy when it sees us, Each one in his own way, like strangers Having nothing in common except the daily words The décor did not change but the actors have no roles to play It is better to draw the curtains It's over… The comedy is over We never thought we will part Eternity was guaranteed We were alone in the world We had a long way to go Where nothing was forbidden… It's over...The comedy is over It has won now, it is happy when it sees us, Each one in his own way, like strangers Having nothing in common except the daily words The décor did not change but the actors have no roles to play It is better to draw the curtains It's over… The comedy is over It all started as a very successful play In a theatre in the suburbs with blue décor There was no one but the two of us! It's over…The comedy is over! - A song by Dalida-

نزيف الحجر

هل من الممكن أن يقرا الإنسان كتابا واحدا يجعله يعيد النظر في شيء كان متأكدا غاية التأكد من كرهه الشديد له؟ كنت من أشد أعداء الصحراء، فحين أنطق بكلمة "صحراء" لا أجد في ذهني إلا خيالات عن الموت.. الفناء.. التيه.. العطش.. الشمس الحارقة والرمال الخانقة. وحتى حين ذهبت إلى سيوه منذ عامين جذبني جمال الواحة الكامنة كسر الحياة الأبدي في قلب الصحراء الميتة. جذبتني أشجار النخيل و تمايلها الرشيق على أنغام الرياح الصامتة، و أخذتني تلك البحيرات العذبة الصافية تتحدى قسوة الطبيعة و تنشر الحياة حولها. أما الصحراء بذاتها فلم تنل مني أي حظ من الإعجاب ولا شيء من الانبهار، حتى وقعت تحت يدي رواية "نزيف الحجر" للكاتب الليبي "إبراهيم الكوني"، والتي تدور أحداثها بالكامل في الصحراء وبالتحديد في منطقة "تسيلي" الواقعة على الحدود بين ليبيا والجزائر في أقصى الجنوب، والشهيرة بكهوفها المهولة والتي تحوي رسوما ونقوشا ترجع لما قبل التاريخ. في أسلوب أشبه بحكايات الأساطير يأخذنا" إبراهيم الكوني" في رحلة شديدة الخصوصية إلي عالم "أسوف" ذلك الشيخ المتوحد النائي بنفسه عن عالم البشر، فهو يحيى وحيدا في الصحراء، لا يأكل اللحم ولا يعاشر النساء عملا بنصيحة والده حين قال: إذا جاورت الأشرار لحقك الشر، الإنسان الذي يفضل الخير لا بد أن يهرب من الناس حتى لا يلحقه الأذى وتتسع دائرة شخوص الرواية لتشمل الحيوانات، فنعرف أن "الودَان" ليس كسائر الحيوانات يقول أبوه وكذلك أمه أن روح الودَان تجذب، تضلل،تسلب العقل،وتجرد من الإرادة،فيجد الصياد نفسه مسلوبا،منساقا،مسكونا،يتقافز على أربع ويطارده على الصخور الصماء الملساء القاسية وحين يصر أسوف أن يعرف لماذا يرفض أبوه صيد الودَان نعرف أن هناك سر أسطوري يكمن بداخل هذا الكائن المسحور: انتظر حتى هل القمر وحكى له كيف أن الودَان هو روح الجبال. كانت الصحراء الجبلية في قديم الزمان في حرب أبدية مع الصحراء الرملية. وكانت آلهة السماء تنزل إلى الأرض مع الأمطار فتفصل بين الرفيقين وتهدئ من جذوة العداوة بينهما. وما أن تغادر الآلهة ساحة المعركة و تتوقف الأمطار عن الهطول حتى تشتعل الحرب بين العدوين الخالدين. وفي يوم غضبت الآلهة في سماواتها العليا وأنزلت العقاب على المتحاربين. جمدت الجبال في "مساك صطفت" وأوقفت تقدم الرمل العنيد في "مساك ملَت". فتحايل الرمال ودخل في روح الغزلان و تحايلت الجبال من جهتها ودخلت في الودَان. ومنذ ذلك اليوم أصبح الودَان مسكونا بروح الجبال. ولكن كف الودَان والغزال عن القتال حين أرسل الله لهما عدوا آخر وهو الإنسان. والودَان لا يهرب حين يقابل صائدا من بني البشر، بل يقاوم بقوة خارقة تماثل روح الجبال الساكنة فيه، فيجتذب الصائد المحموم الى الهاوية. وحين يشارف الصياد على الموت لن ينقذه الا الودَان.. ذات الودَان الذي حاول أن يصيده. فيكون ذلك بمثابة عهد بين الودَان والإنسان.. نذر من يخونه ستعاقبه روح الجبال. أما الغزال فله قصة ترويها غزالة عجوز شهدت موت أمها لإنقاذ طفل من بني البشر ولكني أتركها لكم لتقرءوها في سطور الرواية ولتعرفوا قصة "قابيل ادم" ذلك الذي لا يشبع من اللحم ففي فمه دودة تجعله يأكل نفسه إذا لم يجد لحما يأكله. عليَ الآن أن اعترف أن هذا العمل الذي تمتزج فيه الأسطورة بالواقع ويغلف الخيال وجو الصحراء المهيب كلماته بغلالة ساحرة، جعلني أعيد النظر في الصحراء أملا في أن أرى فيها ما رآه" إبراهيم الكوني" و سطره في هذه الرواية المبدعة.

Palm Trees

Like palm trees Bending gracefully in the evening breeze Your fingers… I hold them…I suddenly feel at ease With a gentle touch I see the wonders of a thousand seas My heart…they open it…they have all the keys I feel them, I see what no human sees Magical they are…they can make the fire freeze Wasn't it with his fingers that Jesus cured disease?

I'm available online!

Well I mean my book "Al Rehla" is, I just discovered that my book is available for purchase online in a very interesting website that we can call the Amazon of the Middle East!! Check it out http://www.neelwafurat.com/itempage.aspx?id=egb122652-5123630&search=books

A Moment!

He did not say a word… without any introductions he took her in his arms… he hugged her, with his strong arms wrapped around her tiny body. He was big, strong, warm… her head rested on his chest and she inhaled his manly smell. She could hardly grasp her breath, she could not believe that she was that close to him, snuggled in his arms like a baby who has exhausted itself all day and all it needed was a deep sleep in its mother's loving arms. She closed her eyes and wanted time to stop. She was suddenly secluded from the whole world, she felt nothing from what was happening around her, the bright lights and the loud noises disappeared. That was exactly what she wanted, no it was more, more than she had ever thought she could get, a moment in his arms. From A Moment, my new story.... Contact me for details

Attack! (3)

My mind has been defeated in all its helpless attempts to prevent your presence from occupying my daily life. Now you can declare your victory…

Attack! (2)

My day is continuously bombarded by memories of you when my defence systems are in a constant state of dormancy...

Attack! (1)

A mighty force armed by longing for you has succeeded in entering my day and caused a lot of casualties in my proper self, in spite of the continuous resistance from my helpless mind...

Requiem....A New Story

Nothing is stranger than human nature, we can be capable of loving and hurting the same person, and will do our best to try to show how we are victims, how we did what we did because it was out of our hands, because of human weakness, because we were wrong, blind and immature. And always God is mentioned as our creator who made us as we are, although God gave us a clear guide of what to do or not to do, but again, it's human nature, we take full credit of our achievements but someone else, something else has to get the blame of our failures and sins. From my new story "Requiem" Contact me for details

Here Ends 2008

The year has ended, the last year in my twenties and the entrance to my thirties. Now looking back on 2008 I see great things that took place. Let me start with 2 lifetime experiences that left a mark in my life and I presume will be kept in my account of achievements. The first being the Omra, with the intense emotional experience that is not comparable to any other thing I went through and having my book published; something I'm still trying to believe and cope with. Scanning the year, January, my favorite month greeted me with a trip to Turkey, I enjoyed every minute, the company of my lovely colleagues, the snow droplets falling on my face in the freezing mornings, walking in the narrow streets of Istanbul, absorbing history from every corner, indulging in the greenery of the parks and the splendors of the ancient palaces and gathering parts of me in Hagia Sophia and the Blue Mosque listening to the most beautiful prayer call I have ever heard. March found me in a situation where I was "forced" to socialize at work, and surprised me with my ability to build very strong relations with people I never expected to get closer to. April saw me in Sharm El Sheikh, enjoying the idle feeling and reading a lot of books on the beaches of the red sea, then it hit me with a terrible car accident that made my car look something like a deformed coke can. May rewarded me with a nice trip to Iran, the fascinating country that I love, with its lovely beautiful people, impressing development and breath taking history that drowns me wherever I go. Then June witnessed me in the biggest bookshop in Cairo, facing a crowd of dear familiar faces, feeling embarrassed like I've never felt in my life, wishing I were somewhere else and yet expected to speak about my book and my experience as a writer who is celebrating the launch of his first book. The week after, I was in Switzerland, wandering in Zermatt and absorbing as much as I can of its snow covered mountains and green covered hills, climbing up to 4.5 Km, breathing clean air, surrounded by beauty that words cannot describe, wishing if time could stop and dreaming of a small wooden hut on the mountains. August found me in the suffocating city of Jeddah, hating it, hating my job and feeling extremely nostalgic to Cairo that I hate the most! Only seeing the Kaaba and cuddling this new-born connection to its vicinity that made up for the horrible Saudi experience. August also hit me with a personal loss, a friend that I thought close, a shocking painful loss that I managed to overcome, a proof that I am performing better in managing losses. October, oh that lovely autumn month, it saw me walking in Europe, my beloved Europe, bowing in respect to the streets of Berlin, standing in awe in front of the masterpieces of El Prado in Madrid, starring in a state of disbelief at the marvellous treasures of Alhambra in Granada and enjoying the company of my dear friends Camel and Ines, feeling overwhelmed in the great cathedral of Cordoba, finding myself in La Giralda and the beautiful streets of Sevilla and feeling dislocated in Barcelona. But this lovely tour ended with a visit in my beloved Paris, kissing its streets with my eyes, crying on my departure day and asking God to bring me back, to keep me there forever. November sent me to London, walking in its childhood-related streets and absorbing the fine art in the National Gallery. December saw me in Algeria, breathing the clean air and absorbing the green mountains overlooking the sea in Oran, one of the best business trips I ever had. And ends 2008, sending me into another stage of my life, with hopes and dreams, difficulties and challenges, pains and sorrows, gains and losses, happiness and pleasures, with huge plans to achieve and happiness to spread on people I love. Of all the wishes I have in this new year, I hope I will never be a source of pain or disappointed to anyone who loves and believes in me.

The Years

He didn't die, he didn't kill himself for he is writing these lines now, but the last ten years made something else out of him, the 20 years old boy turned into a 30 years old man. And the last ten years have seen a lot of things happening in his life… He finished his studies, continued studying in another field, for he is addicted to knowledge. He read an enormous number of books and learned something from each one of them, he changed job several times till he found the most suitable one, he knew a lot of people, good and bad, he hurt people and got hurt, he got attracted to people and people got attracted to him, he fell in love again and tasted another kind of happiness mixed with pain, he knew the bitter emetic taste of betrayal, he lost his faith in love and learned from his mistakes, he knew what he wants out of his life and decided that the journey should leave an effect, he believed in himself and in others, he traveled a lot and saw the beauties of the world, he found the place where he dreams to live, he learned languages and developed new passions for things he didn't imagine would like, he made a lot of decisions and he never regretted any of them Ten years have shown him a lot, in himself, in people and in life. Ten years have taught him that he is capable of doing great achievements on many fronts, that God as much as he gives does not give everything to his people, something has to be missing, for him he knew what was missing and he learned to live with it. He grew up, he changed a lot, but whenever he looks at himself he sees the small old shy him who enjoys his own company rather than the company of others, who prefers to write than to speak, who would rather be alone than being with someone who does not like and who cannot live without art and beauty. The same him that loves flowers, winter, fine paintings, classical music and sad movies. The self discovery trip that he started ten years ago is still going on, for he decided that it will end only with his death…

Monday May 29th, 2000

- Do you remember that day when I saw you by chance in ….. - Yes - It wasn't by chance, it was planned, it was my third time to come all this way trying to find you And he started telling her all what he has been hiding for a year and a half, he took her through all the days, hour by hour and minute by minute, he couldn't help it. Like a waterfall that cannot stop he went on telling her everything. She was silent, shocked and when he urged her to speak, all she said was: - But Meto, I do not deserve all this - Why do you think so? - I mean… I'm… I'm not that good of a person - Who said that I did all this because you are good - So how do you call this? - Love? - This can't be possible… for me you are nothing but a friend With that simple word she brought him down to earth in an unexpected collapse. He felt as if a cold steel hand was squeezing his heart, he couldn't think or speak. He felt as if he had just heard his sentence of death. She left announcing that this would be the last time they should meet, and he was left with an agony of pain to overcome, a broken heart to heal, a void where her love was, a longing to manage and a dark tomorrow where she will not be there. He left, walking alone in the silent night, a totally different person than the one who was almost flying on his way to meet her few hours earlier. He went home, had a last look at his sisters and decided that tomorrow shall not come if she will not be in it. A pharmacy student would think of one thing to end his life…

Tuesday June29th 1999!

They were walking by the sea in Alexandria, watching the sunset, their bodies touching every now and then, he was on fire! They walked a lot along the coast until it got dark and the full moon shone in the clear summer sky. They talked a lot, there was always something to say, something to share. That shy silent boy who rarely opened his mouth to say something was suddenly talking non stop, taking her into his life, allowing her access to the deepest parts of him, something he never did to anyone. Only one part he kept hidden in a dark corner of his heart, that heart that was starting to see the first light of love with her. He didn't tell her that he was in love with her, that he has been doing miracles to find her again, and he did it, and he came to Alexandria only to get the chance of spending some time with her, only few hours with her were enough to keep him alive for long time. He wanted time to stop, that was the happiest day in his life, he wanted these moments of silent passion to last forever, that was the happiness he has always heard about but never felt. Something inside him was urging him to tell her that he has been born the day he saw her for the first time, that he has been to that place over and over again just to revisit that incident, that he loves her and wants nothing else from this world, that suddenly the phone became his best friend because it connects them, he had a lot to say but he couldn't. He kept it in his heart for the fear of losing her was more than he could handle, just seeing her was the best thing that could ever happen to him. They had talked before about Titanic the movie, how they both shared the fascination and had exact views about it. He was preparing her a gift. before saying goodbye to her, he gave her a card carrying photos from the movie, with his own hand he has written "Love can touch us one time and last for a lifetime and never let go till we're gone" He gave her the card looking in her beautiful dark eyes, telling her silently: "Love was when I loved you one true time I hold to in my life we'll always go on…"

Sunday January 24th, 1999!

How can anyone write about 10 years of his life in one post, or a hundred, or even a thousand? If there are 365 days in a year, and with each day adding something to that young, naïve and solitary boy, then I must need 3650 posts, assuming that I will not need to write about the hours within each day. Ten years have passed since that young boy left home one day in January heading to the most beautifully artistic place in Cairo, enjoying the cold weather and every minute of solitude, running to embrace the fine works of art and dreaming of going to Europe to have the real collection in its museums. Right in front of the only Van Gogh in Egypt, an encounter that was meant to change his life forever was already taking place. It was the twenty fourth of January 1999. A one sided love that filled his days with the first happiness of its kind, happiness that is not flavored with academic success or supported by praise from family or injected by envy from colleagues, a secret happiness that only he felt and enjoyed silently. Yes, he was happy, for the first time he knew what love is, that vague story that filled 4 years of his school life earlier was nothing compared to that new feeling. The following months proved to him that he was really in love, he was being transformed, just after two meetings he was doing wonders to reunite with that mysterious person that entered his life and disappeared without a trace. 1999 was the year of self discovery, he went as far as he could, risked all what could be risked at that time to follow what he was destined for, and yes he got what he wanted, for he is a Capricorn, strong willed and determined, and even at the age of 20 he was strong enough to search for the only person that made him feel this irresistible happiness, that only person that he didn't panic when she started to talk to him, that only person that did not freak from his funny clothes, shy looks and silent nature. That person that for the first time in his life told him in a subtle and indirect way "you are normal" for she also loved art, loved being alone, loved the books he reads and the songs he relate to and the movies he watch absorbingly. That day was a rebirth, a start of a journey that is still going on!

Flooded!

I'm not sure if I did the right thing by starting this series of posts. I've been crying on daily basis, whenever I see a comment I just burst into tears, and yes I am a 30 years old Egyptian man and I cry, I still cry and I hope I can always be able to cry! Flooded by all these emotions from people I know, very close people to me and from anonymous people I don't know who they are but I treasuer their comments because if they are carrying anything, they definitely are genuine, for anonymous people did not care of getting credit for telling me how they feel... And Salma, a7la 7aga fe 7ayaty, I don't know what to say, but do I need to say anything asslan??? You know it all and any words will just be silly compared to what I feel. I hope I can control these emotions and keep on writing this series. For everyone who took the time to read and comment, if I'm still alive in this place, it is because of your love. I only hope I deserve it and I ask God never to make me a source of disappointment to anyone who loves me. Ya Rabb!

Of Turning Thirty/Meto at Twenty!

In the year 1999 I turned twenty. If you had the chance to see me in this year you would have seen a totally different person. Young was the word to describe my age and my face but not my looks, with my extremely old fashioned clothes and glasses that I insisted to wear only to look older and with the sad deep look that I always carried, with the kind of books I used to read and whenever I opened my mouth to say anything -something that rarely happened- you would say "What's wrong with this boy?! he looks 16 and he sounds 50!!" I was silent most of the time, engulfed in my own world, talking to myself either silently or loudly most of the time and trying to keep away from people as much as I could. I never had friends at school, my attachment to studying and to be always the first kept me closer to my teachers and books but very far from my colleagues, and actually I didn't mind that, on the contrary, I used to see my colleagues as ridiculous and silly creatures who are shallow and dumb and who spend their valuable time doing useless things. I felt superior and far batter than them so they did not deserve even to say good morning to them or replying to anything they said. My world had no people except my family, mainly my mother and 4 sisters, and of all the members of my family, my little sister Salma was my pet. I took full charge of her when she was 2 and I was 14, I became responsible for anything related to her life, school, going out, reading, everything! At that age she was the only human being I got closer to, with her cheerful and life loving self she filled my days with happiness, I saw many things through her little innocent eyes and I spent my best times with her. Till this day I never feel she is my sister, she is my daughter, a piece of me and the dearest person to my heart. This weird character went with me to university and the fact that I was studying Pharmacy with all the abuse we had to go through from long tiring sessions to being victims to all kinds of psychological complexes that the professors suffered from and got on us, this added to my silent and inward solitude and resulted in this absurd character that I had. I recall that the worst time ever was the one when I had to work in a group to perform some lab work or to do an expriment where each student is supposed to coordinate with a team to get something done. Thank God my reputation as a very clever guy helped me to gain the trust of my colleagues that I will handle everything and they will just get the results, I gained their trust and respect but not their love, but did I care? My free time which was only in the summer holidays was spent in training; I worked in pharmacies, companies, medical labs, I just wanted to make use of every minute I have to get career-related knowledge. And going out meant going out alone or with my family, rarley with school colleagues who for sure found me very boring with my silence, my deep interest in books and my hate to football and sports, my inability to share their talks about cars and such things that teenagers find engaging. At that age I was extremely religious, I used to pray in the mosque as much as possible, walking always with the holly Koran and reading it in transportation and whenever I had any free time. My biggest dream was to bomb myself in palistine to gain a lifetime residence in paradise and do something useful with my anyway ending life, and if I couldn't do this, my more earthy dream was to graduate and have a career in research, finding a magical drug that cures one of the world's most deadly diseases, getting a Noble prize in medicine, getting married as soon as I graduate and have a big family with lots of daughters (probably that was the influence of Salma) So in short, at 20 I was this weird silent guy, wearing funny clothes, attaching passionately to religion, judging people by the way they dress and their grades at school, reading difficult books mostly classical novels of Arabic, English, French and German writers and living in my own world that no one had any access to, carrying a bad experience of one sided attraction to a beautiful girl at school who I never ever had the courage to go and talk to although her sister was my sister's best friend, loving her silently and writing her tears-drawing painful love letters that never reached her and suffering but enjoying in silence and solitude. I also had some attempts in writing, with several short stories and a long story with all the sadness and misfortunes that could happen to a hundred people all happening to one poor woman that I created as a character! In 1999 I turned twenty and in that year, a new me was being created! Keep following!

Of Turning 30!

Some days and I will be 30! Although I do not feel anything negative as I expected to feel or as people keep saying that I should feel old, ancient, life is going to end soon, the counter is now set to count down, I still do not feel any of such feelings. But for me the number 30 marks a stage in my life, and when I see myself 10 years ago, I see a different person, a 20 years old boy at school closed in his own world and totally accepting what life offers him. Now I'm different, many things happened in the last 10 years, many people entered my life and changed it, many people left me un removable scars and many others left me undeniable gifts. But all in all, I am a different person. In the next posts I will be sharing with you the main events that took place and the most influencing people who entered my life in the last 10 years, of course as much as possible as not everything can be shared on a web page that is open for the public. stay with me and get on board this trip, watching myself turning 30 :)

Great Museums of the World/the Jewish museum in Berlin

I have to admit that I’m not a fan of modern art, but for the first time in my life I am impressed by a museum that is nothing but modern. Unlike any other museums, the Jewish museum in Berlin is not just a place where you find pieces in display along with a brief explanations of what they are. Of course there is a department covering this, it is a museum after all, so you will find many things related to Jewish history in Germany , photos and data about famous Jewish figures, holocaust victims and many of their belongings. But the most impressing parts that really affected me and kept me inspired for days were the parts where you do not “see” things in display but rather become part of an experience. So, for example, you are directed to walk along very dark passages, linking to the hiding, loss and fear that the Jews had to experience during the Nazi regime. You reach a room where it is very dark and very small, something that imitates the rooms where they placed hundreds of people to be gassed to death! Another shocking thing was a corridor where you should walk on iron tiles, shaped like human faces in agony, linking to the mass graves they were burying the bodies in.(I couldn't do that) The most impressive piece was a huge board on the wall and you can only read the writings on it when you face a mirror and look at the board in your back, the writing was designed in such a way so that while reading you are seeing yourself and other people beside you in the same time, linking to the hiding that many people went through, and it is telling you no need to hide anymore. A major work of literature building on this is the diary of Anne Frank, but this needs another post. After the emotionally stressful yet inspiring 4 hours I spent in the museum, I needed a long walk, I was thanking God for being able to walk in the streets, to see and be seen by people, to breath fresh air, to see the sky and feel the wind, to be alive.

Great Museums of the World/Deutsches Historisches Museum (Berlin)

One of the most beautiful streets I have ever seen in my life is "Unter den Linden Street" in the heart of Berlin. The name of the street means "under the linden", we may be familiar with Linden tree as it is also called Tilia and in Egypt we know it as Telio (In Arabic it is called Zayzafon), a very effective herb for cough. This ancient street acquired its name from the enormous number of huge Linden trees growing on both sides, in spring you see the trees totally covered in yellow from the tiny flowers, falling on the ground and spreading a very pleasant smell in the air. But the street and its beautiful trees are not the main target of this post, I am writing this to take you with me to the building number 2 in the street, a very beautiful and ancient building whose commisioning started in 1695 under the reign of King Friedrich I of Prussia. Given this date, the building is the oldest in the street and one of the most beautiful monuments recording the baroque era in Germany. The building kept serving as a military-owned one till it became officially a museum of the army in the end of the 19th century. After suffering severe destruction during the Second World War, the building was reconstructed keeping its original form and decoration (like all the German buildings) and was officially opened as the Museum of German History in 1952 serving mainly to focus on the Mrxist-Leninist view of history, as it lay in the eastern part of Berlin, belonging thus to the communist East Germany. Now let's enter the museum and see what it has to offer us in display. For sure, a German museum would carry the extremely organised fashion of anything that is German. The museum is divided into sections, each one leading to the other, covering a certain period in history, having a special colour theme, arrows and signs everywhere to lead you to the pieces in chronological order and in each section there is a brief account of the German history along with the detailed description of the pieces. The first room covers the period 100 BC-1500 AC; Early culture and the middle ages. You will see Celtic weapons and tools, Anglo-Saxon coins, Gothic jewlery, very old versions of the bible, an ancient Atlas- like book dated to 1493. Then smoothly you move to the room covering the period from 1500-1650 giving an account of the Reformation (creating the protestantic christianity) and the thirty years war, with the famous portray of Martin Luther and a very unique metal armour. In the next room you get encountered by history of the period 1650-1789 covering the severe conflict on power between Prussia and Austria. The next room greets you with Napoleon's huge portrait in his glorious royal clothes as it covers the period 1789-1871 with the French revolution and its effect on the German empire, with the bases of democracy being established. You will also see the first steam machine dated 1847, Then you feel a huge leap in history with second room covering the period 1871-1918 as it focuses mainly on Bismarck, the famous German ruler who holds a very important place in German history creating a very powerful German Empire and also gives details of the First World War, in this room you will see in real and just in front of your eyes the first car ever invented, the Automobile dated 1898! Then the next room covers the post war period of 1918-1933, with a focus on the Weimar republic, the first real and full democratic republic in the German history, which fell apart when Hitler rose to power in 1933. This Nazi period has one of the biggest rooms, it covers the period of 1933-1945, with details of the horrors of the Nazi regime and the Second World War. Here I have to stop and express my awe, never in my life have I seen a nation as strong and courageous as the Germans, standing up, showing bravely their darkest part of history, stating clearly that it was a "dark" age for humanity, showing a full movie on the horrors of the Nazi party, killing innocent people, burning anything that stands for freedom of thinking and giving Europe and the whole world a nightmare of terrorism. Again, I was so impressed, overwhelmed by the account of history in this room, the 30 minutes movie played and all the pieces that account for this age including the German daily newspapers glorifying Hitler and his regime, the most touching of all rooms.... What a brave people they are. Back to our toor, we are now in the room covering the post war period of 1945-1949, only 4 years deserve a full department in a huge museum? Yes, they do, during this period Germany was under the Allied occupation, the country was split into two, West (ruled by UK, France and USA) and East communist one ruled by Russia. The room shows shocking photos of post war Germany, totally destroyed, not a single building in whole, famine and diseases everywhere. How can a destroyed divided country become one of the most developed, the heart of Europe in less than 50 years? Well the next and last room covering the period 1949 till modern times, giving a detailed account on the famous unification of the two countries after the breaking of the wall in 1989, and the speedy progress that the country has undertaken, becoming a world leader in economy, education, research, well we can say anything related to civilization. The last thing you see in the museum is a board saying that despite this huge progress that Germany has shown, it still has a long way to go in providing a "better" life to its citizens, paying back to the world for the terrible Nazi period and facing all the economical challenges ahead!!! I stayed for a little more than 5 hours in this building, enjoying every single minute, reacting with every single piece, adding more to my knowledge and great passion and respect to this great country and its people. A strange feeling of belonging was always accompanying me, I felt proud of the German inventions, of Bismarck, of Goethe, of the Weimar Republic, I felt ashamed of Hitler, of the war and all the innocent people burned in the holocaust. I felt proud of the strong people shocking the world by breaking the Berlin wall and unifying their separated country against the will of all the powerful countries. I felt.... well I couldn't help comparing Germany and Egypt, and then I had to run away from the place, going back to the beautiful street, switching on my i-pod to Beethoven's 5th Symphony and enjoying the rain and cold autumn of Berlin, telling myself, "enjoy ya Meto, give your mind a rest", if only I could. Are you still there? Good, keep with me for the next great museum.

HACKED!!!

My Yahoo mail and facebook account have been hacked. Strange things will be coming your way from both accounts so please ignore whatever you get from me on these two accounts. Really strange!!!

Destiny

I am destined, to attend the funeral of those whom I love, when they are still alive!

In the vicinity of Al Kaaba!

A strange but remarkable experience, a mixture of absurd feelings I never experienced before, a smell I will never forget and a crying session I haven't had in a long time.... It All happened by the Kaaba! I can not say that I'm this despertaley religious type of person, but I am a believer, of God. I love him, I talk to him, I feel there is a connection. Sometimes I am away from him, sometimes I'm angry at him, sometimes I do not understand why he does certain things to me or to other people, sometimes "baz3al menno" and many times I go back to him and talk, and cry, and share my thoughts... Crazy?? I don't think so, God is near, and I relate more to the Christian illustration of God, a loving father, who loves his childern unconditionably, and his forgiveness and love is much more prominent than his revenge and anger. So yesterday and after three days in Saudi Arabia -which I did not enjoy at all- I finally had the chance to visit Makka and see the Kaaba. I only saw it in photos and in TV, heard all kinds of people talking about their experience in pilgrimage and praying inside the Haram, and all my questions to those people were about the Kaaba, may be it is my passion for buildings, dead objects as a friend of mine once mentioned. Anyway, I entered the holly mosque, hurriedly prayed the welcome prayer and ran to the open area where the Kaaba stands. And my God... I literally froze... And I have no idea why, the Kaaba itself is a very simple cubical building, covered in black cloth with golden decorations of verses from holly Koran. In my life I have travelled a lot, have sen lots of breathtakingly beautiful scenes and awesome buildings, so what is there in such a moderate size cube covered in black??? No idea, I just stood there gazing, frozen.. did time stop, did I lose consciousness of the surroundings? I don't know exactly but all I remember was that I suddenly came back to life and I saw myself standing on the first step of the staircase, talking loudly to myself saying one thing "this is the Kaaba" and staring in amazement unable to move. Then came a very old white bearded man patting on my shoulder and as if he gave me the strength to walk and continue what I was there for, Omra. Starting with going around the Kaaba seven times, I was talking to God, asking him for manythings, and suddenly I started to cry, and again I have no idea why, I cried like I never did in a long time, it just came, I didn't start it, I didn't try to stop it and when I did I couldn't. It was 2 O'clock after midnight, the place was not that crowded and this allowed me the chance to go to the Kaaba and feel it with my hands, solid...stone...nothing is there, but a feeling, a very strange and new feeling has been transferred to me from my hands like electricity transfers in wires, and the crying got stronger and the feelings got more intense. I hardly detached myself from the magical building and continued the Omra rituals. strange enough, when I was in the second phase of Omra, Saay, where we should walk seven times between Safa and Marwa, I was walking in such a hurry, not because it is how we should walk there but because I wanted to go back to the Kaaba! Something happened with this building, it left something inside me, it touched me, it affected me, I ran back to it, held it again with both hands this time, absorbing the smell, sinking in the feeling, wanting time to stop and wishing I can have this feeling forever. I moved back, sat for long time just staring at the Kaaba and trying to figure out what's in it. I had a strong feeling to call all the people I like and tell them my experience, but it was limited to only my parents and small sister, I called and all what I could say among my tears was "I'm at the Kaaba, I don't want to leave it" Am I getting pagan or what? a thought that just crossed my mind while sitting there and starring endlessly at the absorbing scene, but no, deep inside I knew I'm not, it is God that I believe in....But believe me there is something magical in this place, you can feel it and it will be useless to try to describe it, words are not made to describe such things, they are felt, only felt....

My First Book is Born

I still can't believe that I wrote a book, had it published and celebrated its launch in an amazing event in my most favorite bookshop... To shocked to write about it...

My Book "Al Rehla" now in Bookshops

Finally my first short stories collection is born this month from OKTOB printhouse, it is currently in bookshops in Cairo....

My happiness cannot be described by words :)

Are books always better than their movies?

Although most people tend to prefer the book over the movie, still there are some examples where the movie was much better than the book it is based on. Take The Hours for example, the book by Michael Cunningham was published in 1998 and it won the Pulitzer prize for literature in 1999. The film appeared in 2002 starring Nicole Kidman as Virginia Woolf and granted her an Academy Award, Julianne Moore and Meryl Streep were nominated for the best co actress. The story is about three women in three different generations all affected by Virginia Woolf's master piece "Mrs Dalloway", the first woman is Virginia Woolf herself writing the novel (England 1923), the second is Laura Brown (LA 1949) who is reading the novel and preparing a party for her husband, and the third is Clarissa Vaughn (NY 2001) giving a party to her friend and former lover who won a prize for his book and who is also dying of AIDS. Although the book and the movie have more or less the same plot, watching the movie is a much more enjoyable experience than reading the book. The movie provided a better indulgence into each era, with carefuly chosen scenes, make up, film material, costumes and definitely in this case seeing would be much deeper than reading words and imagining how the word "drive" would involve this old car and how the word "kitchen" will be that illustrated in the three different houses, each carrying the legacy of its country and age. Philip Glass' music played a pivotal role in creating the perfect atomosphere for the themes of the film, as all characters share unhappiness, confusion, identity crisis and homosexuality, it is really one of the best soundtracks you can ever listen to, something the book could not provide. The movie was also the first to depict Virginia Woolf in person, Kidman's make up and acting was stunning and she really deserved the Oscar. The book is written in the stream of consciousness technique which, given its depth and huge psychoanalysis focusing on the characters rather than the events, is one of the most difficult styles to be converted into movie, but still the movie wins over the film big time. Could we conclude that whenever we are in front of a work that deals with past eras or famous figures, the movie with its ability to provide this visual experience would win over the book? Well, this is definitely a difficult question, but sometimes yes, the movie could provide the full picture and fill in the gaps that the book could not fill with words. Another example that fits with the above assumption is "Girl with a Pearl Earring", starring Scarlet Johansson and Colin Firth, based on the book by Tracy Chevalier. The story takes place in Delft, Holland in the 17th century when the great Dutch painter Jan Vermeer was working on his master piece Girl with a Pearl Earring that symbolises the Baroque era in painting. Again the movie with its scenes, costumes, music and facial expressions of the characters takes you really there, way more than the book does. Again, a book or a movie? The question remains and an absolute answer is not easy to be found.

KG2 Graduation in the Opera House!

It all started when my sister invited me to the graduation party of her son (KG2!!!) and I had the shock of my life when I asked her where it will be held, the answer was " The small hall, Cairo Opera House" I had to ask her several times and I even made her double check with the school that the party will be there and there it was. I went -extremely biased against the whole idea- and the evening was really disastrous. First of all, the parents were not allowed free entry, they had to buy tickets for 50 LE each! Then the entering scene was horrible, parents coming with children and babies who were fighting with the Staff as the Opera House regulations state that no children below 7 years old are allowed to enter (actually the oldest kid in the graduation party would never be more than 6!!!) After a lot of fighting, the parents forced themselves in, with no tickets or seats reserved, fights started among parents and with the Opera House staff, the performance started 45 minutes late, the theatre was not prepared at all, babies were crying all the time, Cameras were smuggled into the theatre against the approval of the staff as it is also against the Opera House regulations, most of the people were standing and taking photos of their children while waving and screaming... I think I have to stop myself as I can be going for the next 3 hours. Now and to add to all of this, the school headmistress expressed her deep happiness for having the graduation ceremony in the small hall and promised the audience to have it next year in the main hall. Now my question, should the opera house be a place for such events? Should regulations be that flexible that they can be deviated in such a vulgar way? Is it all about making money? Would the Opera House -a gift from Japan that the Egyptian government did not pay a single penny to establish- be added to the endless list of falling icons, losing its meaning and be a source of money? I was really so furious with what happened that I had to leave before the end of the show (I really don't know what to call it) feeling very sorry for what is happening to one of my very few favorite places in this suffocating town. They can't build an Opera House and even when they have one as a gift they can't keep it, the first was burned down and the second is turning into club, I wonder what's next... But there is always a silver lining to the cloud, guys, why don't we add the Opera House theatres to the list of places where we can have Birthdays and proms, if they host KG2 graduation ceremony they definitely wouldn't mind any other sort of events, as long as you pay the money ! The country is moving!!!

Folktales from Europe/ Hans Christian Andersen

From Germany to Denmark, following folk tales in Europe. Can we talk about folk tales without mentioning The Ugly Duckling, The Little Mermaid, and The Emperor's New Clothes? These and many others of such fairy tales that enchanted us as children and lived across centuries, were written by the greatest fairy tale writer, Hans Christian Andersen (1805-1875) Andersen was born in Odense, Denmark. As a young boy, he had great intelligence, imagination a passionate love for literature. He made himself a small theatre and some wooden puppets, where he spent hours making clothes for then and using them in performing plays, mostly of Shakespeare. At the age of 11, his father died and he had to work in a cigarette factory where he was humiliated by his fellows for being of soft and sensitive nature, that they always called him a girl. After working as an actor and singer in Copenhagen, and there his talent as a writer and poet start to be noticed till his collection of fairy tales was published in 1836. His collection gained him instant success and love by children, soon it was translated to English and they are still being sold in millions of copies each year. Andersen fell ill in 1872, shortly before his death in August 1875, he consulted a composer about the music for his funeral, saying: "Most of the people who will walk after me will be children, so make the beat keep time with little steps." Unlike most of the fairy tales, Andersen's have a great deal of emotions and sadness within the plot. Not all of them have happy endings and some are really very melancholic. This could be attributed to his miserable childhood and unhappy personal life. His ugly physique and being humiliated by his companions as a child followed by dazzling success and fame when he grew up is closely linked to his masterpiece, The Ugly Duckling, which is believed to be Andersen's own biography. Below is a link for the enchanting tales in perfect English translation, I strongly recommend The Little Mermaid and The Ugly Duckling, I know we have heard them or have seen them as cartoons, but trust me, reading them from their original source is something else. http://hca.gilead.org.il/

Folktales from Europe/ The brothers Grimm

Cinderella, Snow White, Rapunzel, Sleeping Beauty, Little Red Riding Hood, Tom Thumb and many other children's tales that are linked in our mind to Walt Disney are originally German. They first appeared in a collection of German folk tales published in 1812 as Kinder- und Hausmärchen (Children and household tales), now known as Grimm's Fairy Tales. The tales come from a legacy of German folk tales that were transferred by word of mouth through generations, the collection represent the first work to collect them in a book. And soon it was translated to English The Brothers Grimm, Jacob (1785–1863) and Wilhelm Karl (1786–1859), were born in Hanau in Germany, the inseparable brothers attended school in Kassel, and studied law at the University of Marburg. They were both fascinated with the German legacy of traditions and folk tales as well as the German language. They had received their stories from peasants and villagers, where Jacob did the research, while Wilhelm put it into literary form in childlike style. Their fascination with their own language was the main cause behind their huge work, the first dictionary of German language, Deutsches Wörterbuch that was completed years after their death and now is compared to the Oxford dictionary of English language. But what is the reason behind their passion for the German history and language that made such university professors work on collecting fairy tales for children. This can be explained if we notice their life in this era when Napoleon invaded Europe and was re-organizing Germany. At that time, the nation of Germany did not exist and the only thing that could unite the Germans into one nation was a common language, so the brothers Grimm used the German language and its legacy and history to create and keep a German identity. In 1937 Walt Disney produced the Disney's version of snow white as Snow White and the seven Dwarfs, without any notification that the story is originally from German folktales and specifically from the Grimm's collection. That was just the start for many of these tales to be taken by Disney and produced under his name, even the castle that Disney uses as its logo is originally a German Castle in Munich…. America, what else can we expect….. Below is a link that takes you into the magical world of Grimm's fairy tales, so hit it and enjoy… http://www.familymanagement.com/literacy/grimms/grimms-toc.html